Maybe I Should Be In Circus School....

I have three balls in the air. I am juggling. Anyone can juggle with three balls. Three balls is easy. One in each of your hands, let go and throw it up when you must catch the third. It's when you add a forth that it begins to get complicated. Two in the air, two in your hands? One in the air, three in your hands? Just throw them all up and hope you can catch them before they hit the floor? Yes, four balls is very hard.

My three balls are as follows; my job, my schooling, my phlebotomies. Right now I am doing alright. I balance my throws so that I am only in fear of dropping one at a time. Then I catch it just in the nick of time and pay attention to the next free floating ball. This is the way you are SUPPOSED to juggle. And this is the way it is working for me. I three ball juggle very well.

BUT tomorrow I add a fourth ball. Tomorrow is the first Remicade after starting school. I go at 9 am and then go to school for 1 pm. I'm not sure how this is going to work. I feel horrible after my infusions and know I won't feel like going to school after. Thankfully it's computer week so I only have to stay until 3 pm (and not 5 pm). And I did most of my tomorrow's work today because I had a lot of extra time. Thinking ahead. That's how one juggles!

I hope I juggle four as well as three. Here's hoping a fifth doesn't soon join the mix!

Keep smiling and juggling!
:)



*juggling is being used as a metaphor for this particular post. I can not juggle, three balls or four. But that would be very cool.

My Thursday....

Keep in mind that after this I have to go to work, go to school, then come home and do 4-6 hours of homework. Ugh. Phlebotomy at it's finest....

P.S. Thank you to my loverly sister for coming with me, keeping me company and taking these pics.

Wow What A Week....

Obviously I underestimated the whole college thing. With at least 4-6 hours of homework every night and an exam(that I totally aced! Woot!) I might be in a little over my head here.
The whole week is sort of a blur so just to give you an idea of my plight here are my Facebook statuses from the week....

"4 hours down, 1026 to go."

"5 assignments for homework? Done!"

"The best part of today? I can write in the textbooks! It still feels weird though..."

"Mmmm! Scrubs and lab coats!"

"Only four days in and already an exam tomorrow! Good luck Kylee!"

....just to name a few. But the best part?! I got a friggin' 100% in the course! AND ON THE EXAM!!

THAT NEVER HAPPENS!!!!

Maybe I didn't give myself enough credit in high school? Maybe I was just too sick? Whatever it was it doesn't matter. Bring on college! I can take it! Student Success Strategies was a sinch and Professional skills will be too. With marks like this there's no way I can fail!

Keep smiling! I know I sure am!
:D

Catching My Breath, Letting It Go....

I was a bit hesitant to write about this because I hadn't dotted my i's and crossed my t's. But now that I know I've signed my life away and can't back out I think it's the right time.
I. Kylee. Am going to college. I know, right? How cool is that?! And I start tomorrow. EEEEKK!!!!

What am I going for? At the end I hope to become a Medical Laboratory Technician. That is to say I'll be able to draw and test blood and other bodily fluids.

What has me choosing this path for my life? Three major things have driven me to decide to go back to school.
1) I have always said I was going to post secondary education. I didn't know for what or when but I knew I would someday. And having been so sick over the past two years my inspiration sort of got thrust into my lap. Or I suppose arm. With a needle. It doesn't matter. I'm inspired!
2) My best friend is gone. If there is anything that losing my best friend has taught me it's that you can sit on your butt and dream and wish for the thing you want to magically fall into your lap or you can go and get it. I want this. And I won't stop until I get it.
3) There was a soother in my pocket. I am not even kidding you. I was shopping in late November and went to reach into my coat pocket and I pulled out a soother. I don't have a child. It was that day when I decided that I was getting out of daycare.

Those are my main three reasons for going to school. And besides daycare was never supposed to be a forever thing. It's something that I just kind of fell into after high school. And recently I've become too comfortable. It's time to shake it up. I need to grow up. I need to have grown up conversations. I need to make a difference in the world.

And that is why I'm going to college.
And I'm excited!
But I'll let you know after tomorrow's class.
;)

To end off on an optimistic note I heard this song on the radio a few weeks ago and I think it perfectly encompasses my newest endeavour....

Catch My Breath
By: Kelly Clarkson

"I don't wanna be left behind
Distance was a friend of mine
Catching breath in a web of lies
I've spent most of my life
Riding waves, playing acrobat
Shadowboxing the other half
Learning how to react
I've spent most of my time

Catching my breath, letting it go, turning my cheek for the sake of the show
Now that you know, this is my life, I won't be told it's supposed to be right

Catch my breath, no one can hold me back, I ain't got time for that
Catch my breath, won't let them get me down, it's all so simple now

Addicted to the love I found
Heavy heart, now a weightless cloud
Making time for the ones that count
I'll spend the rest of my time
Laughing hard with the windows down
Leaving footprints all over town
Keeping faith kinda comes around
I'll spent the rest of my life

Catching my breath, letting it go, turning my cheek for the sake of the show
Now that you know, this is my life, I won't be told it's supposed to be right

Catch my breath, no one can hold me back, I ain't got time for that
Catch my breath, won't let them get me down, it's all so simple now

You helped me see
The beauty in everything

Catching my breath, letting it go, turning my cheek for the sake of the show
Now that you know, this is my life, I won't be told it's supposed to be right

Catching my breath, letting it go, turning my cheek for the sake of this show
Now that you know, this is my life, I won't be told what's supposed to be right

Catch my breath!

Catch my breath, no one can hold me back, I ain't got time for that
Catch my breath, won't let them get me down, it's all so simple now (it's all so simple now!)

Catching my breath, letting it go, turning my cheek for the sake of the show
Now that you know, this is my life, I won't be told it's supposed to be right

Catch my breath, no one can hold me back, I ain't got time for that
Catch my breath, won't let them get me down, it's all so simple now"

Phle-butt-omy and Yay! I Still Don't Have TB!

Two part post tonight.

Part 1- Phlebotomy.
I started my Phlebotomy every week for 8 weeks course this morning. It wasn't as bad as I thought (apart from the 16 gauge needle) but let's start from the beginning....
I arrived at the hospital at 9:30am. Got in and asked where I was supposed to go for the "Outpatient Phlebotomy Clinic". The person I asked heard this as the "Blood Donation Clinic". So it takes my lovely Mama and I ten minutes to walk half way across the hospital and end up in the place where they come to pick up blood donations. We go looking for help and end up in the outpatient surgery area.

No thank you!

We ask again and there is a doctor going to where we describe so she offers to take us. Ten more minutes pass traipsing down two sets of stairs and BACK across the hospital; we finally make it. I take a number and sit down. Twenty minutes pass and I get called. "Did you sign in?" I get asked. "Um. I don't think so." I reply and go BACK OUT to the registration desk where I am #70. They are on #54 and must be related to Mountain Man from Duck Dynasty(hilarious show by the way. Highly recommended) because they are soooooo freakin' slow.

It's now 10:30am and I finally get to have this friggin' thing done. After a "small in comparison to how my morning has been so far" blip with paperwork mix up I'm sitting in a big old comfy chair with a nurse coming at me with a 16 gauge needle! AHHHH! Those suckers hurt! But whatever. Once it's in you don't feel in anyway.

Let me just take this chance to tell you that if you ever get the chance to watch 300ml. of your blood slowly drain out of your arm take it. It's such an odd yet humbling occurrence. So much so that I don't think I could describe it if I wanted to so I'm going to move on.

That's really about it. It drained out, they unhooked me. I had lemonade. And sat for ten minutes. Then went home. Where I crashed. Apparently losing that much of your blood tires you out. It definitely kicked my phle-BUTT-omy! I slept for an hour at lunch. Unheard of for me. But then I had to wake up. I had another appointment which leads me into part two....



Part 2- TB Skin Test
I had to go and see Dr. S and get him to sign some *AHEM* very important papers. More on that in an upcoming separate post. Anyway, I'm in Dr. S's office to get him to sign some papers and part of these papers is that I need to get a TB Skin Test. I wasn't worried because I had one in March of 2010 as a part of my pre-Remicade screening.

I hopped up on that exam table with such vigor, rolled up my sleeve and took that shot to the forearm like a champ! "I just got a butt load of blood taken out this morning. This is nothing." I brag to the nurse. Easy peasy right? Wrong! Apparently there is something in the stuff that they inject just under your skin that I'm allergic to. Whoops! One minute I'm fine and talking to the nurse next thing I know I'm just conscious enough to lay myself down before I black out. I never fully lost consciousness but it was touch and go for about a half hour. I would feel fine so I would try to sit up only to fall back over. This happened three times before I could actually hold my own self up.

The nurse figures since I didn't get hives or anything that it was the type of allergy that makes your blood pressure fall super low? Whatever that means. But if I ever have to have one again she said I should make sure to be in a place where they have epipens just in case? That's an "in case" that I don't ever want to encounter.

Anywho I got home and slept for another hour and here I sit. Feelin' icky and light-headed when I move my head. What better time to write an extremely long blog post, eh? I'm going to have something to eat and go to bed because despite all of the naps I've had today my body is feeling it.

Keep smiling!
:)

Bu- Bu- But! I Haven't Even Had A Chance to Drink My Tea Yet!

I got a call from Dr. P's office today. My iron levels have now reached unsafe levels. I have to start Phlebotomy. Ugh. More needles. For those of you that don't know what Phlebotomy is here is a quick explanation....

Phlebotomy is the process by which one takes out a portion of their blood. Usually about 500ml. or the amount in a standard everyday run of the mill water bottle. By doing this the body is forced to pull extra iron stores out of vital organs to replenish the blood that has just been lost. An easier way to understand it is basically I have to go and donate blood. It's the same procedure, the same amount, the only difference is people without Hemachromatosis, that only have the iron their body needs, need 8 weeks to replenish their blood and can only donate this often. I have to go every week.

So all in all I think the "tea with heavy iron meals" idea is out the window. I'm going next Monday. and I'm a little scared. I'll be fine. Can't be worse than a three hour Remicade infusion, can it?

Keep worrying?
:S

Why I'm Now Going British....

And no it's not because of Hugh Laurie, David Beckham OR *SHUDDER* One Direction. Although the first two options run a close second and third. But no. The reason why I'm going British is because I saw the dietician today and apparently I need to drink more tea.

Ughhhhh.

I HATE tea. With a passion. Almost as much as I hate coffee. Tea is still better than coffee. But I still don't like it. At all. Ever. Except the occasional Timmie's Apple Cinnamon Tea. That's the absolute only exception to the "no tea shall cross Kylee's lips" rule.

UNFORTUNATELY my dietician told me today that I need to drink it. Ugh again. She said that if you drink tea with high iron containing foods it helps to inhibit iron absorption.

........

It couldn't be OJ that helps with the iron issue? Nope! Au contraire! It actually goes the opposite way. Orange juice (due to the high Vitamin C concentration) helps to absorb iron. Which, due to my Hemachromatosis, I don't need.

Bloody Hell....
My health is a bloomin' mess....

P.S. A big update is coming. My life is so crazy right now. Ugh. Again.

Why 2013 is Going to Be Different....

I am giving myself until 11:59pm to type this and get everything I want to out. At which time I will post it and be done with the negativity. Please hang in there. I'm sorry. I promise happier days are coming in my posts....

I want this to be a happy post. Filled with things I have done this year. The things I am proud of. My hopes for the new year. But it can't be. Tonight I feel sad, annoyed, overwhelmed, livid. The fact is that I have been walked on for far too long. I have been suppressed one too many times. And I can't keep living my life to please everyone else anymore.
It makes me mad that I'm spending my New Years at home, bitter, and disappointed that I have to be the adult in no less than two MAJOR situations in my life. Even though I'm the youngest person involved. Thank God for my mother whom I love more than anyone in the entire world. And my sister who, although sometimes we fight, I know always has my back.
This year has been one of my hardest ever. I have suddenly lost my best friend, came an hour away from losing my father, I have now quit my job because I shouldn't have to live the way I was and in turn lost all of the children I was basically helping to raise and loved so very much. I have a major happy thing happening in my life in the next three weeks and dammit I'm not going to let anyone take that away just because they don't have the gumption to realise life is beautiful.

Recently I have been watching a lot of Lost. It's on Netflix and I decided that I was going to watch all 6 seasons. In the first episode Jack allows himself 5 seconds to be scared. I'm giving myself 5 seconds to be scared, angry, sad, bitter, annoyed, betrayed, sit down and take it Kylee. Then I'm going to pick myself up, get tough and get on with my life. IT'S MY TURN!!!!!!!!
5........
  4........
    3........
      2........
        1........

 

Blogger Day of Silence

On Tuesday, December, 18th there will be a blogger day of silence dedicated to the Sandy Hook victims. Bloggers will post a button and that is it.


But for now a few more tiny faces to pray for....

Names and Faces....

Today the names and faces of the littlest victims were released. They were all 6 or 7 years old. It makes me want to cry, scream and pull my own hair out. So many beautiful little lives lost so absolutely senselessly. As you read the names and view the pictures below I ask that you say a little prayer for each beautiful child and their families that are no doubt needing all of the strength others around the world can give them.
The fallen are....
Charlotte Bacon, age 6
Daniel Barden, age 7
Olivia Engel, age 6
Josephine Gay, age 7
Ana Marquez-Greene, age 6
Dylan Hockley, age 6
Madeleine Hsu, age 6
Catherine Hubbard, age 6
Chase Kowalski, age 7
Jesse Lewis, age 6
James Mattioli, age 6
Grace McDonnell, age 7
Emilie Parker, age 6
Jack Pinto, age 6
Noah Pozner, age 6
Jessica Rekos, age 6
Avielle Richman, age 6
Benjamin Wheeler, age 6
Allison N. Wyatt, age 6