Well My Emotions Are In Tact....

I still feel guilty but there's nothing I can do about it so I choose to let it go for the moment.


My body, however, is not so forgiving.
My intestines are alright it's my ankles, knees, pelvis, ribs, elbows, finger joints, back, neck and head that are throbbing.
I think the physical manifestations of the last three or so weeks of emotional bombardment are becoming apparent. Oh well, what can you do.
Just keep swimming!
;)

Guilt....

It was only a week ago that I said goodbye to you. Today I miss you. And I feel guilt.

I feel guilty for not thinking about you every minute of everyday.
I feel guilty that I didn't see you in February.
I feel guilty that somehow in my mind this helped in your downfall.
I feel guilty that I can't remember the last time I spoke to you face to face.
I feel guilty that my mother has her two beautiful daughters and your mom will never get to talk to hers in this world again.
I feel guilty for being here without you.
I feel guilty for not seeing the warning signs.
I feel guilty for not seeing a particular Facebook post sooner.
I feel guilty that I have support and you were and are so alone.
I feel guilty that my childhood was so innocent.
I feel guilty about so many things.
Too many to list here.

I know you don't want me to feel like this. But the fact is I do.
Please help me to see that my life can go on.
Please help me let this go.
I love you.
But I still feel guilty.
And I'm not sure I'll ever stop.