Sunday, June 22, 2014

It All Changes and It All Stays the Same....

Two years ago today my world came crashing down around me. My best friend was gone, had been ripped from her newly thriving life. She was studying to become a Family and Youth Social Worker to help those who could not help themselves, much like she herself had been before she saught help mid-way through our 12th school year. I will never forget the day she told me "all of everything" as she put it.

August, 15th/2008.

I thought she was the most courageous soul ever to walk this planet. And I still do. She read me journal posts and we talked into the wee hours of the morning. I will not divulge any of the things she told me that night. These secrets will go to the grave with me as they did her.

I will also never forget the day I got the call.

June, 23rd/2012

Aly, my Aly, was gone. She would never recieve her degree. She would never call me with her "Guess what?!?!" coming before her hello, or before she even knew it was me. And she would never send me an email with that stupid little snail following her signature that I never really fully understood though she explained it so many times. Oh God I miss that little guy.

Now to the title of this post. It all changes and it all stays the same. Since my friend has been gone here are some major milestones I have encountered.
-I have quit my daycare job.
-I went back to school.
-I obtained my diploma with Honours and am now a full fledged Medical Laboratory Technician/Phlebotomist.
-I found out four days ago that I am hired on as a Phlebotomist at a major local hospital.

And who do I want to tell more than anyone? Someone I can't. The guilt has slowly started to creep back in. Both that I have done all of this went she can't and that it took her death to push me out of my comfort zone.

I speak to you directly now my Bubba. I am sorry and I am thankful and I am happy and I am sad and I am mourning and I am hopeful. I know that you know where all of these lie in my head and my heart at this very moment. Keep on doing what you do. I love you.

http://youtu.be/nkqVm5aiC28