I would like to know why you are upset all of the time. Have I done something to offend you? Or are you just a more difficult organ to get along with. Kidneys, Brain and Heart get along with me. Heck, even Liver got along alright until you decided to get angry and make me ingest Imuran. I bet he doesn't like you now.
I am now speaking directly at you oh so distressed Ileum or as I have been lovingly calling you "My Little Crohnsie Bit". Seriously dude? What's your problem? I try to feed you right with wholesome food and BANG: REJECTED. So I try to see if you would like a treat- BANG: REJECTED AGAIN! It's getting to a point where I wish you would just leave me alone. What have I ever done to you? OK, OK, so I may have fed you a couple of Salads here and there. But you haven't been forced into leafy greens in over a year! Give it up already! And what's this about not absorbing my B12? Are you trying to make me fatigued, depressed and have no memory to speak of? That can end at any moment you know because your little friends Imuran and Remicade are doing enough of these themselves thank you very much.
Which brings me to my next complaint. Remicade. Do you think I like having to take three hours out of my day every couple of months to go and sit in a filthy clinic to get a biologic drug pumped into me and to be poked and prodded at all the while? No, I do not. It costs a lot and is a great inconvenience to myself.
While I love you dearly for all that you do for me dear Crohnsie Bit I am going to have to ask you to cease and desist by December 7th. At which point I will be speaking with my Gastroenterologist about removing you from the premises. This is a final notice.
Love Always,
My Tired, Annoyed, Aching, Sore Body
