But if I don't let them go I'll never move forward in the process. Here I go....
Who in the hell do you think you are Aly? Ending your own life when so many are suffering through far harder lives, in a lot more pain, even more physical pain than you. It's selfish. It's mean. It's abandoning me here. You were never like that, why did you have to be in death. You have tainted all of our good memories together with the stigma of suicide. I can't believe you would do this in the way you did. And to not call me for help it enrages me. I hate you for doing this to me. No note. No e-mail. No goodbye. And now you're gone. And I hate you for depriving me of my best friend....
I'm sorry for that. But now that it's out and I have a face full of tears I feel better. Maybe it's the solu-Cortef from the Remicade that I got today playing with my emotions that drove me here or maybe it was just time.
I feel better.
I feel worse.
And I feel guilt....
