I want this to be a happy post. Filled with things I have done this year. The things I am proud of. My hopes for the new year. But it can't be. Tonight I feel sad, annoyed, overwhelmed, livid. The fact is that I have been walked on for far too long. I have been suppressed one too many times. And I can't keep living my life to please everyone else anymore.
It makes me mad that I'm spending my New Years at home, bitter, and disappointed that I have to be the adult in no less than two MAJOR situations in my life. Even though I'm the youngest person involved. Thank God for my mother whom I love more than anyone in the entire world. And my sister who, although sometimes we fight, I know always has my back.
This year has been one of my hardest ever. I have suddenly lost my best friend, came an hour away from losing my father, I have now quit my job because I shouldn't have to live the way I was and in turn lost all of the children I was basically helping to raise and loved so very much. I have a major happy thing happening in my life in the next three weeks and dammit I'm not going to let anyone take that away just because they don't have the gumption to realise life is beautiful.
Recently I have been watching a lot of Lost. It's on Netflix and I decided that I was going to watch all 6 seasons. In the first episode Jack allows himself 5 seconds to be scared. I'm giving myself 5 seconds to be scared, angry, sad, bitter, annoyed, betrayed, sit down and take it Kylee. Then I'm going to pick myself up, get tough and get on with my life. IT'S MY TURN!!!!!!!!
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