Friday, July 6, 2012

Stage 3: Bargaining....

I don't want to do it.
I would give anything not to have to.
But the reality is,

Tomorrow I will say goodbye to my best friend.

Tomorrow has been weighing on my mind all week. Through picking and laying new carpet in my living room to buying and setting up my new couch and chairs. It was all leading up to this. There's only so long you can keep your mind busy and off a topic until its tomorrow and you dig in your heels in avoidance of the inevitable.

How do you say goodbye? How do you even wrap your mind around something like that? And what to wear? I have tried on everything in my closet and nothing seems right. Aly was not a "black for funeral" kind of girl and I will not be at hers. I want to be respectful but a rebel at the same time. That is a very hard thing to accomplish. Stay tuned for that....

You may ask why I am blabbering on about fashion when I have bigger things to worry about but the fact is that these are the things going through my head and this is my forum to let them out.

I may also be procrastinating going to bed. I know my dreams will not be pleasant tonight.




Please God. Don't make me say goodbye.
Don't make me put on a brave face for all of her loved ones.
Don't make me stand there with my friends and tell stories about how funny, lovable and goofy Aly was.
Please God, I'll do anything.
Just bring her back to me....