DAY 14: WEGO Health's National Blog Post Month

DAY 14 - My life as a reality show.

So when planning my post it actually turned into more of a soap opera but anyway, here goes....


The rich head honcho of the town is played by my brain. Like the man who has so much money he runs the town my brain has full control over everything I do.
The rich head honcho's bratty son is played by Lil' Crohnsie Bit. Having a drug problem and throwing random temper tantrums are common problems between both.
The roles of the two beautiful women that the head honcho's son are currently both dating are played by none other than my eyes and mouth. One day Lil' Crohnsie Bit messes with one one day, and the other the next.

The part of the mysterious gangster that comes to town one day and throws the whole town on its head is played by my Hemachromatosis. It kind of just showed up out of nowhere and gave my brain a run for it's money.
The part of the other, younger stranger that shows up to town shortly after the first gangster and he turns out to be that gangster's son is played by my heart palpitations. There had to be a reason for them to be there all along! *GASP!*
And last but not least the random person that gets hit and killed by a stray gang fight bullet is my liver. With all of the iron in my body that sucker never had a chance....

Now on to the resident hunk that never seems to want to put on his shirt. This is played by my hip arthritis. And the girl that falls for the hunk is my knee arthritis. And of course their illegitimate love child is played by my ankle arthritis. But when the hunk has an affair with the town's other beauty this is like when the arthritis moves into my arms and hands.

The "futile at best" police force is the Remicade I receive every 6 weeks. It tries it's hardest to rein in the residents but with so many storylines going on at any given time they get lost as well.

Other citizens sometimes get pulled into the action (AKA iron levels, platelet levels).

What will happen next on "Days with My Body"? Tune in next week(or never because it's absolutely ridiculous) for the exciting conclusion!

Did anybody follow this?
XD

DAY 13: WEGO Health's National Blog Post Month

DAY 13 - Book report. What is your favourite book and how does it tie into your life?

For today's post I've decided to review my favourite Crohn's book.
I've been putting off writing a review for some time now. It's not because I don't like the book. In fact it's because I'm afraid I'm not going to do it justice. But I promised the author I'd write a review so here we go.
This book is called The Foul Bowel: 101 Ways to Survive and Thrive with Crohn's Disease and it is written by John Bradley.
I have read this book three times now since January and every time I read it I feel more like I'm reading my life story. Mr. Bradley also has Crohn's Disease and has had a rough go of it. From surgery to surgery you dive deeper into the life of a strong CD warrior. While he is regaling the reader with his story he is writing with an English wit and humour that could potentially wake up your mother AND your sister when you have a laughing fit at 1am so readers beware. He also gives 101 tips from hospital ward etiquette to everyday mental attitude enhancement to talking to doctors to get better health results. In amongst the ridiculously awesome writing there are some very creative drawings done by Rose Hutchings. These add to the majesticness of this book. And all of this from a (somewhat) local author. What could be better?
Here is one if my favourite quotes from The Foul Bowel....

"Firstly, it's most likely going to be for the rest of your life so, by definition, you cannot beat it - it will always be there. This then means that you should not try to live your life exactly as it was before you were ill. That life is gone now. But that doesn't mean you just give up and become a victim, because then you will lose control of the direction of your new life to the vagaries of your illness. It's about give and take. Sometimes you can live as you would have done before, but there are other times where you must give precedence to your illness." (Page 116).

This paragraph is very true. When you get diagnosed with a chronic illness it's hard to realize that you will never be able to make a life choice without considering everything that could go wrong with your health on any given day. And then there are days in which you feel so good you momentarily forget that you are different. Spot on!

My favourite tip has to be #78: You Have to Laugh. While sharing this tip Mr. Bradley isn't speaking of Crohn's per say (it's actually a hilarious little tangent about a fertility clinic parking lot incident. Very funny!) but I apply this tip in my everyday. Somehow if you find something to laugh at it makes the day easier to get through. Wether it be an Internet picture of a funny cat or laughing at a witty television comedy everyone needs to laugh.

The Foul Bowel is an incredibly well written book and it is easy to tell that a great deal of time has been spent on making it the best it could be. Thank you John Bradley for giving Crohn's patients and their families an excellent resource for advice, tips and even humour.
If you have any qualms about ordering this book let me just wipe them from your mind right now and tell you to order it. Right now! The link to the website is below. You can read the first three chapters there as well. And if you're lucky he might just send you a signed copy.
:)

www.foulbowel.com

DAY 12: WEGO Health's National Blog Post Month

DAY 12 - Call BS on something. What is something that is just ridiculous?


I thought long and hard about what I wanted to call BS on. And I came up with a few winners. But I just didn't feel the need to vent about any of those things. And if I don't feel I need to vent then I find I don't get a well written post that makes me happy when I read it back.
So my topic for today shall be "it's BS for women to shave their legs in the winter". I mean who are we kidding? Who really enjoys shaving their legs? Is it not one of the only things that suck about the summer time? Do we really want to have to deal with that all winter as well? And I don't know about y'all but it gets cold here in Canada and any extra layer of warmth helps in my opinion.
And while I'm on the topic of legs and warmth I want to call BS on not wearing socks in the winter. I don't care if you're warm blooded, have warm boots or are acclimatized to the cold weather. If you refuse to wear socks then your kid(s) do too. And then I end up looking in the playroom for half an hour for the very expensive socks he/she refuses to wear and you want back.
And while I'm on the topic of kids refusing to to wear articles of clothing; hats and mitts. Teach. Your. Children. To. Keep. Their. Hat. And. Mitts. On. From. The. Day. They. Are. Born! It makes my job a hell of a lot easier. Replacing articles of outdoor wear in the middle of -30 degrees Celsius weather a bunch of times causes me a great deal of grief. And if "you tried them on and it took you 10 minutes and a lot of wiggling to get them on him" then it's a fair bet that it's not good daycare wear.
The same goes for those fancy snow suits that they can't get on themselves or get dirty. Now that's BS.
Where are our fancy snow suits? Adult snow suits I mean. We have all of these cool snow suits for kids and they can't get them on while adults have crappy, boring snow suits that even a 2 year old could do. Oh, and I forgot to mention that they cost an appendage if you do manage to find something decent. BS. The only nice things women can get in winter are boots.
Which brings me to my next point. I was shopping with my little sister this weekend for new boots and I saw some clearance sandals. But (besides the fact that there was none in my size) I never would have tried a pair on anyway. And do you know why? Because I didn't shave my legs! I guess everything comes around full circle. I am hereby christening it the "Circle of BS".
I may revisit this topic at a later date. But for now, happy Monday!
:)

DAY 11: WEGO Health's National Blog Post Month

DAY 11 - Anatomy post. Re-label an anatomy picture with new names/descriptions for your body parts.

*YOU MAY NEED TO CLICK ON THE PICTURE TO MAKE IT BIGGER*

Worry Center: Otherwise known as "The Brain". This is where one's fears about what is happening or what could happen resides. Also a great source of memory loss.

Itchuli: Otherwise known as "The Oculi" or "eyes". These two little sources of worry cause me so much grief. They itch, they swell and they burn. More in the sun. Don't forget your sunglasses.

Ulcerated Cavity: Otherwise known as "The Oral Cavity" or "Mouth". A source of great pain for Crohn's Disease sufferers that get ulcers and sores in their mouths.

Weeze-in-airy: Otherwise known as "Pulmonary" or "Lungs". Where oxygen goes in and where oxygen goes out. When steroid puffers are involved. When not, good luck Asthma sufferers!

Palpitation Muscle: Otherwise known as "The Cardiac Muscle" or "Heart". Palpitations are one of the scariest things you can go through. It feels like your heart isn't beating for 10 seconds, then you get 3 hard beats. Repeat. For hours at a time. Usually at 2 or 3 am. Yay for Hemachromatosis!

Hepaironic: Otherwise known as "Hepatic" or "Liver". Another place for my body to store iron. Think of it as a hoarder's closet....

Lil Crohnsie Bit: Otherwise known as "The Terminal Ileum" or "The End of the Small Intestine". You all know this little guy and all the grief he causes me.

Pain in the Anus: Otherwise known as "The Anus". This one is self explanatory.... ;P

Sandtella: Otherwise known as "Patella" or "Knee". The feeling of having sand in your joints. Mostly in my knees. If I want a beach, I'll take a trip!

Swankle: Otherwise known as an "Ankle". A swollen ankle to be exact. Sometimes two. *SIGH*.........



DAY 10: WEGO Health's National Blog Post Month

DAY 10: LOL post. Write something funny or share something you found funny.

I took so long to type last night's post on my iPod that I actually had to go into my laptop and change the date on the post because it had moved over into today's date. So in leu of that happening again I'm just going to share a bunch of funny pictures that Pinterest has lead me to. They made me LOL, I hope they make you laugh too!

DAY 9: WEGO Health's National Blog Post Month

DAY 9 - Tell a descriptive story about a memory.


Saturday May 8th 2010....

I had just sat in the bathroom for another 20 minutes. It was the 12th time that day. How was there anything left in me? I hadn't eaten anything solid in almost a week. I was down 16 pounds from two weeks prior. I made my way the ten feet to my bed and collapsed in a heap beside my bed. I only had the sense of mind to grab my yellow plastic garbage bucket so I didn't vomit on the floor. It didn't matter anyway. Nothing had been coming out for two days.
When I could reopen my eyes I made my way to the stairs where I immediately had to sit down to avoid the spinning precipice that is the 14 steps to the floor below. I have no idea how long I sat there. I slowly inched my way down the stairs toddler style on my bottom with my head on my knees. As I reached the bottom my mother looked startled.
"You scared me. I didn't hear you coming down. Did you go down on your bum?" She asked as I made my way, now daring to walk to my chair.
I blacked out.
The next thing I knew my mom was shaking me but I was soon out again.
"What's her name?" Said a strange voice.
"Kylee." Said my mother.
"Hi Kylee." Said the strange voice again. "Kylee. I'm just going to attach some stickers to your chest and your legs. OK?" The voice pulled me up out of the fetal position while another set of hands attached the electrodes.
I have no idea what happened next as I was being walked(more like being carried) out my front door and down the concrete steps to a stretcher. I remember the air being cold but they wrapped me in blankets. They put me backwards in the ambulance. Could you be a little gentler people? I thought. The paramedic asked me if I needed a puke bag. I was very white and shaking. My heart rate was also through the roof. She informed me that it was right there if I needed it. I was asleep but awake. It's the strangest feeling.
I wondered if this was dying. I knew I wasn't dying, the sirens weren't on. I do vaguely remember seeing the trees pass quite quickly out of the back window. Faster than they do at 50 kms. per hour anyway.
We arrived and they took me into the ER. My mom followed 5 minutes later. She had to drop my little sister off at my grandparents house which was en route.
The nurse took my temperature, symptoms, all that jazz and I was in a bed within minutes. Maybe I was closer to my maker than I thought? Maybe not. On subsequent ER trips I have learned that if your heart rate is over that of a three hundred pound man eating a plate of french fries after pouring an entire shaker of salt of them, they rush you to the front of the line.
As it turns out I also had a slight fever. So I had to take three Tylenol. This was a feat. It took me an hour but I didn't throw any of them back up. And that's not easy when you're 3/4 of the way to dead. As it turns out will power trumps the grim reaper every time.
They took blood, stool and basically any other bodily fluids they could get me to excrete(which is harder than you think after being dehydrated for so long). And I had to keep drinking water and Pedialyte freezies(ick). I believe it was one cup of water and one or two freezies every 30 minutes or in the IV would go. You have to remember that this was pre-IV days and will power can trump needle wielding nurses as well.
Every test came back negative and they decided it had come down to a case of mildly severe dehydration from diarrhea. But what had caused the diarrhea in the first place they could not say. There was no infection or other obvious source of my symptoms. And so I was discharged as one of those unsolved but resolved cases.
Until August. That was a whole other ball game....

DAY 8: WEGO Health's National Blog Post Month

DAY 8 - Write a letter to your health.


Dear Health,

Who do you think you are? Where are you? On a ten year vacation? I hope you are enjoying the sandy beaches and piña colatas. Or perhaps you are hanging by a rope from the highest mountain known to man. Wherever you are just know I'm here trying to pick up the pieces you've left behind.
I'm so glad that you are having fun while I sit here attached to tubes and swallowing pills. Getting shots and attending endless doctors appointments. While you are off galavanting I am doing everything I can to keep my body from falling apart.
You've left me in a real tizzy here health. My intestines are like a rowdy teenager, not listening to it's parental authority. You are like an older brother who can swoop in and talk some sense into the young with your worldly experience. My blood is like an extreme hoarder. Holding onto all of the door nobs and porcelain cat figurines one house and three storage units can hold. But instead of doors and cats floating around in my blood it's all the iron one person can hold. Health, you are like a counsellor who can talk the hoarder out of mountains and years of treasures. But alas, you are nowhere to be found.
I'm begging you, Health. It's been a long time coming and you've had long enough. When you do decide to return home and get back to your job (if and when that ever happens) I will welcome you with open arms. Until then, enjoy yourself. And hurry home. Pretty pretty please?

Your concerned and somewhat annoyed host,
~Kylee~

P.S. Bring me back a gift. A good one. I deserve it.

DAY 7: WEGO Health's National Blog Post Month

DAY 7 - Redesign a doctor's office or hospital room.


There are some doctors offices that I walk into and think they are alright. Then there are some that I just wonder what they were thinking when designing it. Below I have designed a highly scientific schematic that details my dream doctors office but first I'm going to tell you about the totally wicked features I have included....

•The doctor would have two offices. Side by side. This would speed up the change of patient routine.
•They would also have a timer on the desk that would allow everyone the same amount of time. You have no idea how many times I feel like I get gipped out of time because the doc is out of time and the waiting room is slowly filling up.
•The doc would have an iPad. With all the patient files on it. Why? Because iPads are awesome....
•There would also be two or even three chairs for patients in each room. Some people like to bring moral support and there isn't always a place for them to sit.

•The waiting room needs to have lots of seating. And there needs to be more than three inches of room between each seat.
•My favourite thing about this waiting room is the hexagon shaped television block. So no matter where you are sitting you can see.
•If it's a waiting room of a doctor that children might also frequent then they could have their own waiting room equipped with toys and children's movies.

•A bathroom inside the office! I have to give my gastro. doc's office props for being just 20 feet away from a bathroom but it's just not the same as it being right in the office. Patients would really appreciate it! And it would have paper towels instead of air dryers. Who has time for those things? Seriously?

•An office staff with enough people so you would never be put on hold or get a busy signal when you call.

But the absolute most important thing in the whole entire office is that it's not that ugly pastel blue/green colour that I'm sure they still only make for medical buildings. Notice how my picture is brown. Studies show that earth tones and warm colour pallets are more comforting to patients than cold environments. Decorate a little. If you are going to make us wait. Give us a little something to look at. We thank you!
:)

DAY 6: WEGO Health's National Blog Post Month

DAY 6 - Write about a time that you had to take the high road.


While pondering this question late last night while lying awake in bed (thanks to some very annoying and bothersome heart palpitations) I could not come up with anything. Seriously. Not one single instance. All I kept coming back to was the television show My Name Is Earl. That's right. A television show.
You see, the premise of this show is that this man (Jason Lee AKA "Earl") has a near death experience which causes him to reevaluate his felony career. He then learns of the theory of karma and proceeds to write down everything bad that he has ever done to anyone in his life. He rights his wrongs to earn back karma points in his life. This is the premise of the entire show until it's untimely cancellation in 2009. The entire series in on Netflix if you are interested.
Anyway, back to my high road story. I realized that the reason why I couldn't think of any specific time is because I always try to travel on the high road. Like Earl I believe that the universe will give you back what you throw out into it.
Therefore if you are constantly berating others with condescension and hurtful words then that is exactly what you can expect to get back from others in return. While if you choose to respect and use kind words during interactions with others, even if they are not kind in their response to you then you know you will be rewarded in some other way.
In other words, if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all.
:)

DAY 5: WEGO Health's National Blog Post Month

DAY 5 - Write a list of 3 things that you are thankful for/excited about/inspired by.


1. All of the gratuitous things everyone else is thankful for.
•This encompasses family, friends, health(or what I have left of it), money, a safe home, enough to eat, a good job, freedom, etc. Basically anything that other bloggers post as their three things I am lumping into this one thing.

2. My totally wicked awesome cool crafting skills.
•Seriously. I am so proud of the fact that at 22.5 years old I am so creative. Knitting/crochet/sewing/building/paint by number. Anything I try I'm usually successful at. It excites me. Not only can it be a second source of income for a bit of extra spending money but it gives me the opportunity to give back into the world and hopefully earn back some positive health karma. It also helps me get through tough times. And it's very relaxing. :)

3. Me.
•I am thankful that I am me. Through every emotional roller coaster ride. Through every painful test. Through every new and scary diagnosis. Through every life change I've had to make. Through every verge of mental breakdown. Through every laugh, cry, bad day, good day. Through every steroid induced mood swing. Through every day I dragged my half dead butt out of bed to fight through another day. Through every earth shattering loss. Through every euphoric gain. I am still me. And for this I am the most thankful.